At least 200 Alberta Separatists Feared Lost

[Satire]

Officials are concerned about the welfare of at least 200 Alberta Separatists

Hundreds of social media accounts promoting the idea of Alberta separating from Canada have gone idle over the past few days, and officials are expressing concern.

“We have launched a full investigation,” said Danielle Quisling, allegedly a member of the government. “The preliminary indication is that they might have been at a conference where there was some kind of fire and explosion. We’ll seeking additional information but so far have been unable to confirm anything with the management of ‘Hotel Yandex’.”

This article will be updated as new details emerge.

HTTP 455 Response Code

Although I’d love to see it gain wide acceptance, this is a mostly frivolous suggestion for a new HTTP error response code:

455 You are an Ass. Go away.

The code is derived from “l33t speak” where characters are mapped into numbers. 455 should be easy enough to figure out.

Use case: websites are inundated with a wide range of unwanted traffic, including aggressive bots, hackers (especially the script kiddies), brute force password attacks, credential harvesting, and a range of denial of service attacks. Many tools have been developed to combat these attacks, with the normal response to return a 4xx code (often 403 Forbidden) while tossing the request IP into a firewall.

The problem with the existing official codes is that there’s no way for the server to convey a sense of irritation. A 403 could be something more normal, like attempting to access a protected resource without logging in. In this scenario, insulting a regular user would be inappropriate, but we really want to tell the bored idiot trying to read your .env file to go get a life. Hence the need for a 455.

Scammers on Mastodon (in near real time)

Intro: I first posted this as it was happening and figured once all the accounts had been suspended, that would be the end of it. But no. The idiot(s) behind this scam keep coming back for more. So it starts as near real time, but now it’s daily updates until these losers realize they lost.

I follow a friend from back in my Joomla days, Jen Kramer. So far I’ve had two fake Jen Kramer accounts follow me from mastodon.social. So I thought I’d have a little fun with the second one (I figure I’d make use of the lag time after reporting the account.) So here’s the “transcript” (images have alt text).

Fake Jen: Good day how have you been doing? Me: Oh I'm doing great!!Sure, like Jen would randomly ask me this question after 15 years or so.

Fake Jen: Good to hear that! Am doing pretty good and thriving. Do you also get letter from Department of Health and Human Services program going on yet? Me: I dunno, I don't "get letter"

Good old Department of Health and Human Services program “going on yet.” I guess that Canadian flag in my name wasn’t enough of a clue, so we have a real winner here: we don’t have a DHHS.

Fake Jen: It's a letter from Department of Health and Human Services, they're having promotional program to help workers, retired, youth, disables, and old people with cash funds. Have you heard from them yet? Me: Nope, never heard of them.

Nothing like helping the “disables.”

Fake Jen: I don't know you haven't heard about it, i got cash delivered to me when i apply for the program, you can also apply too. Do you know how to do that? Me: Cash? Like a brown envelope of money in your mailbox?? Fake Jen: They came to delivered it in person

Ooh cash. I like cash.

Fake Jen: Yes cash Me: Cool! In unmarked bills too?

I am really trying to give this idiot a clue here.

Fake Jen: ‎I pray you will qualify because this will really be a blessing for you and family too., This link will lead you to the agent page on mastodon , just click on the link once you get to his page first follow the page then send her text that you are ready to apply for your grant money mastodon.social/@Brigitteoan Me: I hope so too, because unmarked bills will really help in this deal I'm working to buy Plutonium from the Iranians. Wait a sec, this isn't an NSA operation is it? I'd be fucked!

Really. You would think this would do it. But the key here is the link to the second account, which appears to be someone who hasn’t posted since 2024. Probably a compromised by a brute force password attack. FFS people, pick hard to guess passwords!!!

Fake Jen: Nope, ‎you can text her now to be sure I gave you the right link and keep me posted here, tell him I referred your This funds is from the federal government to support the less privilege due to this hard time so don't feel skeptical about it

I’m assuming this idiot only gets paid when I message the second level scammer…

Fake Jen: How many plutonium are you buying ? me: Looking for 100g. So I need about US$4T.

Yes, I only need four trillion dollars. This idiot didn’t clue in even then.

Fake Jen: And this grant is a big opportunity for you because you will have to choose the amount of money you want to claim go for big figures

Big figures like four trillion? LOL

There it is “clearance fees.” Well I guess I can cough up a few thousand for a trillion bucks from a foreign agency…

At this point I have stopped responding so this turkey is trying hard to keep me on the hook, even though he’s already given away the scam. But then it gets better:

Fake Jen: I just finished talking to the agent she's online. She said if you want to get $4T you will to pay $2B do you have that? Me: I think I can manage that. Do they accept payment in Dogecoin?

There’s probably going to be more of this, but I want to get this posted.

Oh. And in the middle of this I pinged the second hacked account:

Me to the second level scammer: Hello DHS grant person, I am ready to apply for my all cash in unmarked bills grant money!

But for some utterly inexplicable reason I haven’t gotten a response!

Addendum: I just got tired of this. 😉

Fake Jen: I don't know if you will have to pay through activation method. Let me ask Me: No need, the blog post is already up, sucker.

Addendum 2: Just after posting this, I reported the second account. Some 15 minutes later, both accounts have been suspended, and this is why I love the fediverse. Real human moderation, and timely!

Addendum 3: Another ten minutes later, I get followed by a brand new fake Jen account. What does the account do? Well, it boosts real Jen’s most recent posts to make it look like it’s real, and the first one is her mentioning this post. So we can conclude that it’s a bot that’s creating these accounts.

Screen shot of a brand new fake Jen account, which boosted her most recent posts. Top of the list, a link to this blog. LOL

Addendum 4: Two days and several fake Jen Kramers later, this idiot still thinks he has a mark…

Fake Jen #7: I realise that it was our recent conversation that cause the suspension of my previous accounts. you know is against the rules and regulations of fediverse to talk about grant on mstdn.social. Are you on zangi let's talk there to secure our conversation server won't be detect that way Me: No, it was running a scam, you twit. Look, you've been played. Fuck off. go do something useful with your life.

Incredible!

Addendum 5: But wait, there’s more! LOL Another day and these idiots are still trying to pick up the scam.

Fake Jen 8: Why do you have to post our chat to public when this supposed to be private? Me: So that everyone knows you're running a fake account and trying to scam people, you stupid fuck.

Fake Jen 8: When I told you even US owned about $40T debt to cover. Don't you know all that are supposed to be kept secretly and beside that if you to say you have read the policy of this grant they keep all their privacy so secure Me: You really don't know when to quit, do you?

 

Fake Jen 8: I was just trying to be cool with you don't get it twisted. This is still real me you know how this goes to get the figures Me: Wait. WAIT a second! Is this really Donald Trump who is posting? Because we're really starting to approach that level of delusional.

The only remaining question is “Will there be a Fake Jen number nine?” Stay tuned…

Addendum 6: Fake number 9 showed up on September 6 (LOL) eleven days after first being abused, this idiot is still at it.

Fake Jan 9: What respond did you get when you tell the agent that you want to apply for the program?

I didn’t have a chance to hurl more abuse though. I didn’t see the message for two hours, and by that time the moderation folks at mastodon.social had suspended the account. Gotta love moderation on the fediverse! Also of note, they’ve picked up Jen’s new profile image. I’m guessing there will be more to this thread…

Shopify’s CEO has this Proportional Voting Thing Right (Almost)

Tobias Lütke, CEO of Shopify, thinks “weighted voting proportional to the level of income tax you pay,” is a good system. Drop “income” out of that and he’s right!

The problem is, like many others who have reached a level of wealth in the billions, he sees everything as a business venture. But government is not a business, it’s a mechanism for providing services.

I’d like to suggest that proportional voting is a good idea, but the basis for weighting votes should be the amount of burden a taxpayer absorbs in running it. The “all taxes suck” right wing propaganda think tanks love to point out that for the average Canadian “tax freedom day” falls somewhere near the middle of the year, so let’s use that as a baseline.

While people who earn less than the average pay less income taxes, they pay a disproportionately large amount of tax when you consider that “all taxes combined, hidden or otherwise” version that the anti-tax people tout. For an example, let’s take someone who buys 2,000 litres of gas over the course of a year at an average $1.50/l. That’s $3,000 spent on gas. The anti-tax people happily point out that half or more of that is hidden taxes, so we’ll call that $1,500 in taxes for the year. For someone who makes $150,000 a year, that’s 1% of gross income. For someone making just $50,000 it’s 3%. Even at higher marginal income tax rates, “tax freedom day” can come a lot earlier in the year if you’re a high income earner. The propaganda pushers try to convince average people that they’re being hosed, but their agenda is more money for the wealthy, fewer services for those who need them.

Let’s look at that “level of tax you pay” not in absolute dollars, but rather in the percentage of your total tax load compared to income. Let’s give that “average” Canadian 50 votes to work with, then more to the people who pay more, less to those who pay less. In this scenario, we’ll use Tobias’ salary from 2024: 205.5 million. If he can demonstrate that his total tax load for the year was in the range of $155 million, he can have his 50 votes too, but I’m willing to wager that all he’d get is a few votes—at best. Maybe we round up so he gets at least one.

Your say in how the government is formed should be proportional to how much you have to bear on a percentage basis, not an absolute dollar value. Letting the people who depend on the services the government provide have a bigger say in who runs it sounds like a darn fine idea to me. I’m willing to bet most people would be a lot happier with the results. Not Tobias though. He can go cry on a super yacht or something.

Some idiot just posted the instructions for a Walmart Phishing scam!

Yep, some fool bought a scam package and instead of following the instructions, they just pushed them out. Unbelievable, but then again, nobody said these fools were smart!

I’ve seen a wave of these phishing for credentials from a number of stores, and the best part of this is where they tell the scammer to use one of a set of random headers. In theory, this means you can set your spam filters to look for exact matches to these segments, and if you see to many of them, tag the message as trash.

Now I present for your edification and development of spam filers, the full text!

The Author Scammer who Will Not Be Ignored [LOL]

Scammers love to prey on authors, taking advantage of their desperation to get their book published and/or promoted.There are tons of angles: interest from fake publishers, fake interest from real publishers, fake editors, fake agents, fake book clubs, and fake reviewers.

There’s two easy tells for these things. One is heaping over-the-top praise upon the work, and the other is the free-mail address (GMail, AOL, Hotmail, etc.). I saw another one recently where the scammer-idiot claimed to be an editor from one of the big five publishers, but was using a GMail address. Belly laugh. Please don’t fall for that.

This scam-ass is in the fake review category, but when the author failed to respond to the first message, the scammer got threatening:

Email from a scammer. Subject: Re: [book title] From Christopher Joseph if you continue to ignore my messages, | might do something you would regret for the rest of your life. | already have access to your book, and instead of giving it a positive review, | will leave a negative one and damage its reputation. It seems you have forgotten that | have a community of readers, and | can easily influence them to bring your book down. You can try me though. On Wed, 24 Dec 2025 at 2:55PM, Christopher Joseph wrote: Hello [redacted], | came across [book Title], and it immediately struck me as the kind of transformative, deeply personal guide that seekers of self-discovery actively search for but often struggle to find.

I have to say if this showed up in my inbox, they would get an obscenity-laced response (from a no-reply email address) inviting them to do their worst. And if they actually did post a negative review, I’d use that in my promotional materials under the heading “Review Scammers Hated This Book!”

Mastodon